What Is the Perfect Age for a Child to Be Independent?

Send Your Child to Camp, Whether They Sleep Away or Not.

What is it about camp that makes it so independent? There are no parents! Children as young as Pre-K can attend day camp, and while some children are ready for sleepaway camp sooner than others, many children feel ready to attempt it for the first time between the ages of 8 and 12. The sense of independence that your child will gain from attending camp is invaluable. The fact that he must learn to get along with children and staff that are not you, means that he will be able to relate well to a peer group when school begins a year or so later. It is also short enough in duration for him not to feel overwhelmed by the experience. Camp is also good preparation for the independence of college life if he plans to attend a university.

6 Years Old and Up

Let Them Take a Solo Walk for a Few Blocks

Some areas appear to be safer than others. Some children appear to be more prone to irresponsibility than others. Allowing your first-grader to play in the front yard is a good place to start if you’ve never allowed her out the door alone. This is a fantastic opportunity to make some new acquaintances in your neighborhood if they haven’t already. That way, you’ll feel more comfortable sending your kid down the street to visit a neighboring friend’s house, possibly first messaging the friend’s mother to check out the window. After that, gradually increase your child’s ability to walk to school or another regular location. This will make her more independent in her life.

7 Years Old and Up

Assign Them a Task at the Grocery Store.

Counting money, conversing with others, and deciding which juice drink to buy while you sit back and watch? It may seem like a routine task to you, but it is an independent and even a life-changing event for him.

Allow your kid to walk ahead to another grocery store aisle and select anything from your family’s grocery list, such as his favorite variety of Capri Sun (it’s a 100% juice drink). Maybe you’re just keeping an eye on him from down the aisle, but as he gets closer to the shelves, he’ll gain confidence and feel independent.

11 & 12 Years Old

Drop Them to Hang Out with Their Friends Alone

Sure, this is excellent practice for sticking to a schedule and budgeting. Start small if it feels too dangerous right now. Take your junior high schooler and her friends to the movies—or to the mall, where they may spend an hour wandering around. This can help them be independent outside the home.

12 Years Old (or Later)

Final Words

When minor difficulties arise, don’t rush to address them. Motivate your kid to solve problems by asking whether she can think of a solution. Allow her time to ponder before providing your suggestions if she’s stumped. Stay as calm as possible. You could end up with more messed-up mattresses and milk puddles, but hearing your newly independent kid proudly proclaim, “I did everything myself!” is well worth it.

 

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